We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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