Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
