she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
