i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
