i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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