Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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