Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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