Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
