This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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