Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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