Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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