Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
