you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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