There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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