the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize