Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
