everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
