dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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