He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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