Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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