I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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