My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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