I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
