69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
