I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
