Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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