Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
