the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
