He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
