Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract

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(302): View more from Delaware

NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.

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(626): View more from California

Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?

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(954): View more from Florida

If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..

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