Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
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