I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
