so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
