What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
