The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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