I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
