Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
