Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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