Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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