sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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