No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Too much gin, very little bucket
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
