Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
