says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
whose parrot is this?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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