I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
