He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Someone signed my nipple.
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