It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
