I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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