Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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