My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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