Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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