if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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