WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
