So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
