Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
