Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
